Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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