you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
