She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
