She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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