"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
