Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES