At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian