what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
