matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he puts the penis in happiness.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
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spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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