How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
