Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
