what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
