Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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