the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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