Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
