dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
