respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize