Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
