So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
