she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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