nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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