even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize