I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
