dude i'm inner monologue high
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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