It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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