What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
