You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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