i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
