so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
this is an emotional support booty call
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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