Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
