You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
