You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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