I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
