Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up under a house in Key West
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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