He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize