please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
These tits shall not be calmed
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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