worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
