Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
