he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize