Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
