you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
