hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Randomize
