So drunk its hurt
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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