I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
