Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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