Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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