i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
