you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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