I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
