did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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