Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
