Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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