Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...