I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.