If that was your dad, he is hot
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?