so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!