Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery