Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
