I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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