Non-Jews are for practice
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
