You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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