just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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